240912 ❤

Hello dear blog. Hello lovelies.

Life has been quite tough for me recently. Trying to forget him but I just can't. Didn't break down for months..? And I just did it yesterday. I feel silly and stupid. Still wandering around waiting for you to come round to come to me. But that's not going to happen. I have your number but just don't dare to text you. Some tell me to move on some tell me to confess which obviously I wouldn't. I'm really ... Stuck here. I can't do anything. Please, fade this feelings.
I know you like somebody else. And that girl is pretty, slim, clever, everything. She's much perfect. In your eyes. So yeah, gonna give up.
Wish you and her to be together.. Happily. They say: watching the person you love love someone else and if he's happy , that's a form of happiness too. But.. Is it really true..?
Gladys, give up.
I wish nothing but the best for you. Don't forget me. Because truly I like you, I love you. And you make me happy. Really.

Next, about my health. Constantly having stomach pain. I don't know what happen too. Pq ask me to go for check up. Parents did too... They ask doctor, why do I always have stomach pain. Doctor say too much air. But too much air, I wouldn't be pain till I can't move right..? I don't want to go check up and x-ray because I don't want to know the result. I don't want to be sick. For once I want to show to people around me that I can do well in my studies. So yeah, health, please don't fail on me..? 😢😥😪 probably will go for a check up or x-ray check after my holidays..? I've got so much planned and I'm just hoping my health won't fail me. I won't get sick easily.

Really really tired. I try to pack my time together so I don't have time for you. I am forcing myself. Can't you people see it? Stop mentioning him to me anymore. I'm not going to feel a thing anymore.

Shall end my post with some pictures and quotes.

140912 ♥

Hello blog and readers. Wait is there even one reader ? Hahah. Ok. Got judged. And yes fucking angry bout it. Can I slap you seriously. Grrrr.
And on Thursday right, I finally got it. Why am I wasting my time on this kind of people ? Who already got over me like so long ? And know so much bout another girl. Then today ? Ruiyao ask me to attend his performance or whatever. Like hello. He don't really care already but I do..? Really. I could have spent my time on studying and clothes. Not him. Fuck my life damn much.
My feelings not toys leh. If I can talk to you and share my feelings with you. You are important. But if you're a flirt and player. Sorry suck your own ass. And fuck yourself. Get lost haha.
Okok gonna study. Bye bye.

080912 ♥

Hello blogg.
I'm like feeling low again today. Thinking too much again. I guess I'm just an option right ? I'm just someone that anyone can forget when they have others , and they only come to me when they are bored. I'm a boring chat buddy, text buddy.
Yeah ok bye.

030912 ♥

Mentioned on twitter that I'll have lots to blog bout so yeah.
Firstly, really paiseh and sorry to Peiqin cuz we actually planned to go paya lebar together. Then I ask Kammi watch movie with me and I thought Pq was still sleeping so I ask Kammi go paya lebar with me. So yeah, sorry.
Secondly, I hate the fact I still can't get over the fact that I still have feelings for him. Why is it that even going to the movies , I also want to go to somewhere that he is at? Why? Why do I want to see him so much? Why is that I tell people I've gotten over him, I don't want to see him but deep inside I still have feelings for him, still hoping to see him every minute every second. People keep asking me to move on and all that. But it's like stuck there you know ? Is it that I don't want to move on or what ?
Thirdly, why did I even ask Kammi to watch movie is cuz I don't want to stay at home doing homework and I know I would spend most of the time on twitter and thinking bout things.
Fourthly, why am I still feeling guilty to him? It's the past. Seems like everything my friends say bout getting dumped by their ex, reminds me of how I'm treating him? It makes me feel like a bitch. I hate it. I hate myself.
I'm so useless. I can't do well in everything. I'm a failure. I wonder why my parents even want to give birth to me. I should not even exist. I am just wasting their time and money.

010912 ♥

Hello.
Trying my best to be happy and not be sad or guilty. Gonna divert my attention to studies, clothes, food and saving money. I need to stop slacking all day waiting for people that isn't suppose to be mine. It's like I'm waiting for my ship at the airport.
Le sigh. Think a little too much today because I'm quite free ? Didn't go for mtdc that's why. 😣😠😨😥😒😞😔